Dudley Has A Girlfriend?
by North American Scum
Summary: Dudley finally meets a girl who can stand the thought of dating him. Harry witnesses the horror that ensues when he brings her home to meet his parents.


When Harry awoke he was not yet dreading the day ahead of him, well, at least not any more than any other day with the Dursleys.

And then he remembered the horror ahead of him. Today was the day that Dudley's girl friend would be joining them for lunch. Or, rather, joining Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon and Dudley while he sat up in his room making it look as though he didn't exist.

As he went through his morning routine (although by that time it was nearly noon), he remembered when he had first learned of the existence of Dudley's girlfriend.

It was a stifling summer afternoon and Harry was idly sitting at the kitchen table while Aunt Petunia flicked through a magazine next to him and Uncle Vernon watched the news on TV, sometimes loudly complaining about "liberal bastards". Just as Harry began to consider going upstairs to entertain Hedwig, Dudley burst through the door, nearly knocking over several decorative plates with his heavy footsteps.

"Guess what Mum, I've got a girlfriend," he announced, throwing his jacket off onto the floor.

Petunia's face lit up, delighted at both the fact that her son had actually attracted a girl and the chance to pry into someone's love life. "That's lovely! What's her name?" she asked, picking up Dudley's jacket and neatly hanging it on a peg near the door.

"Ariel" he answered, already beginning to loose interest and turn on his Play station, "She's pretty".

Harry wondered dully if she was a mermaid.

Although by that point Dudley was totally engrossed in his game, Aunt Petunia continued to fuss and Uncle Vernon congratulated him and gave disturbingly knowing smile, which Harry nearly made himself sick considering the reason behind.

The ringing of the doorbell interrupted Harry's thoughts. He knew that he was supposed to stay in his room under all circumstances during this visit, but he was undeniably curious about what sort of girl would be able to bear going out with Dudley. Quietly, he began to creep down the hallway to a point where he had a decent view of the entryway and dining room.

He began spying just in time to see Dudley introducing his girl friend.

"This is Ariel Koenig" said Dudley, referring to a girl who was barely half his size. Aunt Petunia shook her hand, as did Uncle Vernon, who appeared to scare the timid looking girl something awful.

They made their way to the dining room where Aunt Petunia had set up what looked to be a rather unappetizing lunch. As soon as they were seated Dudley and Uncle Vernon began to greedily shovel food into their mouths, while Ariel and Aunt Petunia scarcely picked at theirs. There appeared to be some sort of parallel here.

Uncle Vernon finally looked up from his food, some of which was stuck to his mustache, to start a conversation "Ariel, how did you meet my son here? Did he give some boys who were bothering you the ol' Dursley one two?"

"Er, actually no, I met him through my little brother," she replied. "But they're on good terms now" she quickly added as a slightly guilty look crossed Dudley's face.

This was the start of an awkward moment that lasted until Ariel attempted to remedy it. The girl had guts; Harry had to give her that.

"That's a lovely dress Mrs. Dursley," she lied.

Aunt Petunia only had time to mumble a thanks before Dudley, speaking with his mouth full as usual turned to Ariel and said "You look lovely yourself, almost irresistible".

Harry had never heard Dudley say anything quite like that and choked with repressed laughter. Unfortunately, this sound was loud enough for Uncle Vernon to hear. He caught sight of Harry and began to turn maroon with anger.

Harry quickly ducked back into his room for his own safety, but also because he didn't particularly want to see Uncle Vernon have an aneurism. Snickering, he fell back onto his bed. He knew that he would later incur the wrath of the Dursleys (possibly through starvation) for "intruding" on their company; it was worth it just to see Dudley tell someone that they looked lovely.


End file.
